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From
the book
Working Musicians
by Bruce Pollock
It Was the Rock and Roll Dream
Cindy Bullens |
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It was the end of July 1975; I was living in Los Angeles and my
friend Bob Neuwirth called me up and said I'm sending you
a ticket. You have to come in to New York for a week and do this
thing at the Other End. Dylan's going to be there. Mick
Ronson and Rambling Jack Elliot are coming down. T-Bone
Burnette and Steven Soles are going to be there; David
Mansfield wandered in - he's still one of my closest friends
to this day. I was basically part of the backup band and we all
sang songs together for a week. And out of that came the seeds for
the Rolling Thunder tour.
I went back to L.A. and all of August they were pulling it together,
so I assumed that's what I was going to be doing. Then in September
I crashed this party and met Elton John and was literally
asked that night to go on the road with him. It was a Wednesday
night; rehearsals started Friday. So I had Thursday to make up my
mind. I had no manager. I had a few people who were in the music
business who I may have asked at the time, but to be honest with
you, I had to make the decision in a day. It was Oh my god, should
I go on the road with Bob Dylan as a band member and be able to
do one of my own songs? Or should I go on the road as a backup singer
with Elton John who was one of my idols?
Money didn't even cross my mind. I don't even know if there was
any money involved in the Rolling Thunder tour. There certainly
wasn't a lot of money at that time with Elton John. But there was
nobody bigger than Elton in 1975, in terms of being an entertainer.
Dylan was in kind of a lull in 1975 and this was part of what was
bringing him back. It was two totally different ideologies. And
at that point, much to the chagrin of Bob Neuwirth and some of my
friends, who thought that songwriting was the most important aspect
of what I did, I felt that my performing capabilities or my wanting
to be a rock and roll performer, was a more compelling pull to me.
I never felt I made the wrong decision, I just have felt over the
years regretful that I couldn't have done both. I ended up doing
three concerts with Rolling Thunder. But I would have loved to have
been involved in the whole subculture on a daily basis. I did have
some moments backstage, in the hotel rooms, in the bus with Allen
Ginsburg. But I wasn't involved in the daily aspect of it.
Elton John was a whole different ballgame, let me tell you. He had
his own jet. We were traveling around in private jets and limousines.
It was the rock and roll dream come true. I went from having done
a few backup vocal sessions on record to actually being out there
playing in front of thousands and thousands of people. We did Dodger
Stadium, seven nights at Madison Square Garden. I had to get used
to being in the limelight. I got a lot of attention, a lot of press,
because I was the only girl, I was young, I had a tiny bit of history
with the Bob Dylan thing; I had done backup vocals on Gene Clark's
record, a couple of Bob Crewe records. Elton made sure that
I got attention, which was very gracious of him. I learned a lot
from Elton in terms of working with a band, working an audience
- a huge amount about working an audience. We rehearsed for a week
and once we got through the rehearsal part of it Elton pretty much
delegated what he needed to say to other people, at least with the
background vocals. His guitarist, Davey Johnstone, was more
of the director of the background vocals.
Obviously that put me on the map. I was on the road in '75 and '76;
in '77 I mostly wrote, and in '78 I got a record deal with United
Artists and Desire Wire came out in '79. The album
got incredible reviews. I was called the next big thing in rock
and roll. People called me the female Bruce Springsteen.
They said I had the energy of Springsteen, the look of [Mick] Jagger,
and played guitar like Keith [Richards]. The single "Survivor"
was going up the charts. It was number fifty six after three weeks.
And then it disappeared, because the record company folded. That
was devastating to me because I knew I had made a great record.
A year later my second album came out on Casablanca--and
that label folded too.
In 1982, we moved back to New York from L.A. and I had my first
daughter and then moved directly to rural Connecticut. So I was
really isolated. In two years I went from being a rock and roll
star in L.A. to being in rural Connecticut with a baby. As anyone
who's had kids will tell you it's kind of tempting to just shut
yourself off and I did that. I shut myself off for a number of years.
I lost touch with a lot of people. I think at that point my dreams
of being a rock star were starting to fade; I always did think of
myself as a musician and a songwriter, but I had no idea how to
get back into the business while having this child.
Then in 1984 I got pregnant again, and it was really when I was
pregnant again and gave birth to my second daughter, that I came
to a resolve that somehow I was going to have to find a way to do
my music. So we moved closer to New York and I started writing again.
I would go into the city and co-write, which I had never done. I'd
take Jessie with me in a little basket. That's how I started
kind of easing my way back in. I put a band together of local musicians
and started playing once a month at the Red Rock Café in
Westport, Connecticut.
In 1988 I got another record deal, with Al Teller at MCA.
Al had originally wanted to sign me back in the 1970s. I was Al
Teller's first signing when he became president of MCA. And then
he immediately went to CEO, so he wasn't even involved in the record,
and the record never got heard. It wasn't even panned; it was just
not heard. That was a heartbreaker. That was even more of a heartbreaker
than the first two records not being heard. Because I really thought
I had a shot this time and nothing happened. I felt that was kind
of the last straw. I've had three major record deals. I'm in my
thirties and have two kids. But then I said okay, I've got to figure
something out, because I have to do music.
So in 1990, at the suggestion of some friends and acquaintances
like Emmylou Harris and Bonnie Raitt, I took a trip
to Nashville. I got an incredibly positive reception there. People
knew who I was. They thought my writing could be a breath of fresh
air. It took me a couple of years to figure out what country music
was. Roots music and country music are not the same thing. Country
has very strict standards on lyrics, direction, even though it was
breaking open at that time. But I met with some wonderful people.
I wrote with Al Anderson, Matraca Berg, Mary Ann Kennedy, Kye
Fleming. Radney Foster and I had a couple of hits. I could have
made a really good living there, but my family didn't want to live
in Nashville, so it was a compromise. I'd go down there for about
a week a month, but at least I got my foot in the door again. I
was doing something I loved. And I recreated myself as a Nashville
songwriter.
A lot of these people helped me put together Somewhere Between
Heaven and Earth when my daughter Jessie died after a long
battle with cancer in 1996. She obviously provided the inspiration
for the songs. But, this may sound funny, there's no question in
my mind that after her death, she also kept kicking me in the butt,
saying, get out there, mom; this is what you need to do. In the
last year and a half I have played every type of venue you can possibly
imagine. I do a lot of benefits. I played at the Experience Music
project in Seattle. The other extreme was playing in an office building
in Washington DC for a bunch of executives who just wanted to hear
me sing. I've literally played everywhere from Maine to Alaska.
My next record won't be Somewhere Between Heaven and Earth.
I can never do that again. I don't want to do that again. I won't
top it. It's an entity into itself. There will be shreds of the
same sentiment, but there will also be a lot of rock and roll. A
year and a half ago I could no nothing except the songs from Somewhere
Between Heaven and Earth. That's all I wanted to do. That's
all I cared about doing. And it's all that people wanted to hear.
Those songs are still the bulk of my set, but in the last six months,
I've been doing some songs I've written since then that are going
to be on the new CD. I also do a few of the old songs, things people
might know, like "Survivor" and "High School History." As
an encore I always do a rocker that people absolutely love. It's
just a flat out rock and roll song. I know now that I have the capacity
to go out and play solo, with just my guitar, or I can rock you
out with a band. I'm performing mostly with my drummer, who plays
a full set of drums, so we sound like a band. I've only played maybe
three or four gigs with a full band this year, which I absolutely
love to do, but it's not cost effective. I've always loved performing.
Since I was six years old I loved to get up in front of an audience
and sweat. The only thing is, I don't jump off any pianos anymore.
I already had a knee operation that probably was the result of jumping
off one too many pianos.
I have no idea what my future is. I could be dropped by this record
label in two seconds. I used to want to be famous. Now I couldn't
care less if I'm famous. That doesn't make my life complete. The
music makes my life complete. |
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Copyright
©2002 Harper Entertainment. Reprinted with Permission.
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_________________________________
For more information visit:
http://www.cindybullens.com |
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_________________________________
The following Working Musicians interviews are featured:
Cindy Bullens, It
Was the Rock and Roll Dream
Lita Ford, One
of the Guys
Cheryl James, It
Wasn't a Mutual Decision
Brenda Kahn, Almost
Famous
Laura Nyro, Growth
and Change |
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_________________________________
 This
interview is excerpted from the book Working
Musicians (Harper-Collins), by Bruce Pollock.
Bruce is the author of eight other books on music, including The
Rock Song Index, Hipper Than Our Kids, When Rock Was Young, When
the Music Mattered, and In Their Own Words,
as well as three novels, and is the founding co-Editor in Chief
of GUITAR: For The Practicing Musician. His work has
appeared in The New York Times, Saturday Review, TV Guide,
Entertainment Weekly, Musician, Family Weekly, USA Today, Playboy,
The Gannett Westchester Newspapers, and The Village
Voice. |
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